The following email letter was sent to the Toronto Star in response to the efforts in Canada to
overcome the Church's stance on homosexuality. Those on the secular left wanted to outlaw the
Bible and Church teachings in an effort to make the secular state the final authority in matters of
religion and morality. That effort still simmers under the pot lid with the "Human Rights" councils
which operate there. This was my 'modest proposal' in response to the article:
Dear Toronto Star, Oct. 11, 2005
I read with interest your column by Joey Slinger. I heartily concur with the prospect of bringing
the Catholic Church to heal. I want to thank the Toronto Star for printing it and by doing so
endorsing such a bold position. If the Catholic Church so much as dares oppose the Prime Minister’s
rights to engage in religious free expression I think that hardball is exactly what is called for. This is
Canada’s chance to show the Vatican and all Canadian Catholics that such intolerance will not be
tolerated. But Mr. Slinger does not go far enough. A talented journalist, I am sure he restrains
himself from his true feelings. He may infer them and pose them as humor or sarcasm, but I can
easily see his intent and the intent of your paper in publishing it. So let me expound for those that
may not see the true progressive thought evident at the Star.
For daring to discriminate against the ministers of the state, the state should take appropriate
action. First, the Catholic Church should be nationalized by the state. It works in China in
suppressing their anti-progressive Christian element. So far Mr. Slinger and I agree. But that leaves
the population of Canadian Catholics free to spread their repressive anti-abortion/anti-
homosexual/exclusionary screed. To identify these intolerant people to Canada’s hate crime
authorities and prevent their infecting Canadian society, they should be forced to identify
themselves. An armband of a cross or fish should be adequate. Other progressive Christians would
not need to be identified as they already agree with the state’s direction of social mores to a large
extent. Inclusive Christians of all types that embrace modern relative morality are the backbone of
Canada’s progressive trend. So called fundamentalist types should be lumped in with these
unrepentant homophobic Catholics.
Once this is done decent Canadians will be aware of whom they are dealing with. With the
organization outlawed and the elements clearly identified, many of these Catholics can be brought
into what Mr. Slinger terms the 21st century. To prevent these people from subverting such
reasonable measures to make them inclusive their businesses should be labeled on the front of their
business. Why should a gay couple take their laundry to such a hostile environment? When
someone pulls up to a dry cleaner and sees a cross or fish on the window they will know to patronize
someone more in tune with Canadian values.
Speaking of these businesses, should they not be taxed more than other businesses due to the extra
burden they place on Canadian resources? Their influence infects all levels of society with their
moral superiority. Shouldn't they be gathered all in one section of the city? That way all Canadians
will know that Catholics are there, and that maybe only other Catholics should do their business
there. Should a modern inclusive Canadian be unwittingly supporting hate speech by patronizing a
Catholic business?
I really think that Mr. Slinger has nailed this issue down. From here it is not hard to see how
Catholic children are brainwashed by their parents into their narrow, bigoted, teachings. Those
children should either be removed from Catholic homes and placed in more tolerant surroundings, or
be segregated into Catholic only areas of the city where the main Canadian population of children will
not be exposed to such cultish behavior.
For those who are unrepentant and not only do not recognize Canadian tolerance, but actively
preach their hate speech, the only remaining thing to do, since criminalizing such thoughts has already
been done, is to place them in humane camps for reeducation. While the population at large might
initially think this is harsh, they will in time grow accustomed to such measures and accept them as
needed to bring these wayward Canadians into modern progressive society.
Such a final solution to Canada’s “Catholic problem” could very well be the model the UN could
adopt to fight this insidious mythology worldwide. Soon Mr. Slinger and the Toronto Star’s bold
vision could see the end to the oppressive church worldwide. Reeducation camps and Catholics
wearing armbands could be on every continent. Soon the intransigent Vatican itself could be
occupied and sold off to fund programs for the poor or to support those young people questioning
their sexuality. Canada could be on the forefront of a brave new age of tolerance.
And if all else fails and we finally have to fire up the ovens, we can say that Canadian tolerance
gave these backward people, who believed the word of Christ was not subservient to the modern
progressive state, every chance to turn away.
I had not read the Toronto Star before, living in a red state in America. But I am pleased to see the
Toronto Star baring its true leanings to the world. I look forward to future Toronto Star columns by
Mr. Slinger. I had not thought that Canada had leaped so boldly to the progressive front. Here in
American we are bound, or more accurately subjected to the false freedoms of the American Bill of
Rights amendments to the Constitution. Since it is so inconveniently written there that the
government cannot make laws restricting the freedom of worship, I lament the fact that we here
cannot simply outlaw anything that inappropriately impinges on the state’s control of the individual. I
take heart however that the Democratic Party and its leadership is working to subvert those
guarantees even as we speak.
Should I be so fortunate to visit Toronto in the future, I will be sure to bring, and wear, my
armband.
Forgive me for not revealing my name and address, as I am not sure how advanced Toronto’s Hate
Police are.
Sincerely,
An interested reader.