The Quiet Conservative December 6, 2009
Ode to William Blake
"Tiger Tiger. burning bright,
In the forests of the night;
What immortal hand or eye.
Could frame thy fearful symmetry?"
Naw, that won't work. Not topical enough. William Blake's poem was about God who created not
just the lamb, but the terrible Tiger. Who in this culture thinks about God? People don't even look up
at the sky anymore to see the rest of the universe. They don't think of deep things. There isn't time.
Let's take Blake's poem and with a little revision, bring it up to date and more topical to this fast paced
life.
Tiger, Tiger, take a right
off the hydrant painted bright:
What unsteady hand or eye,
Steered the Escalade into the tree?
In what distant hotel suite
did the marriage vows fall
before the cocktail waitress wiles
or the model's pose
And what shoulder, & what art,
Could twist the sinews of they...heart?
And when the clothes began to fall
Did the title husband, father, dissolve?
What disgrace, what vile shame
meant nothing in thy brain?
Love and honor beyond your grasp
Devotion to your children in the trash
Gifted with a talent and will to strive
Worthless beyond the green grass drive
Little hussies did you trap
But on your family's love, you crapped.
"Tiger, Tiger, take a right
off the hydrant painted bright:
What unsteady hand or eye,
Steered the Escalade into the tree?"
The story of Tiger Woods has been heard before. A man of immense wealth becomes to believe he
deserves it all and more. Blessed with millions of dollars and surrounded by adoring fans, he is married
to a beautiful woman and has two small children. It isn't enough. Every whim, every desire, should be
fulfilled because he believes he deserves it; it is owed to him. He believes he deserves every desire,
every whim, every lust. Hubris, pride, egotism, narcissism, call it what you will, it was a test of
character. Tiger failed miserably.
But wait, as more and more bimbos pop out of the tabloids and number somewhere around ten,
already there is the proposition that Tiger is a victim of sexual addiction. It is being floated that Tiger
couldn't control himself. Therapists nod to each other knowingly. Tiger is trying to deal with the pain
of filling the need of easing the suffering of the low self esteem that comes from the darkness of the
insecurity of the...what, inner self image? What terrible trauma forces him walk up to a strange
woman and say "Want to see my putter?" Could it be having to endorse Pontiacs before finally
endorsing Cadillacs? The crushing days on the golf course? Filming yet another commercial where
everyone adores you? Getting paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for an afternoon's work?
What tripe is this? Sexual addiction my sweet patootie! It is the arrogance of a man who can walk into
a club and have one of his "security guards" go get him whatever girl he points out. No, sexual
addiction won't fly. Tiger was caught having no character, no morals, and no regard for his wife, his
vows to his wife, and the responsibility of being a role model for his children. It is a story heard before
of the rich and famous. So enough about Tiger, his measure is now very evident. There are more
characters in this morality play that makes the show so popular in the press.
First, there is the wife, Elin Woods. Who, so far as we know, really doesn't have anything to add to
this tale. No reports of alcohol or drug addictions. No report of serial adultery. Just the mother of
Tiger's two children. She is designated as the most boring person in this drama because the only thing
that can be said negatively about her is the story she gave to the Florida Highway Patrol is baloney.
Excusable when all things are considered, but baloney none the less. Really what else can be written
about this private lady other than she has horrible taste in men?
There are the bimbos. They make better copy. Or, to be carefully politically correct in these modern
feminist times, not bimbos- skanks. These women are the products of the evolving 'culture' promoted
by the left. After forty years of promoting the freedom of female sexuality the result is the absolute lack
of respect women have for themselves. All the known women and any future women who will come
out knew Tiger was married or could have known. None of that was important to them. What was
important was to have sex with someone whom they had no personal attachment to, no shared life, no
shared hopes, dreams, responsibilities, or affection. To Tiger they had no more importance than an
amusement park ride. Fun for the time but not worth anything at the end of the day. For them it was
the thrill of being used.
Is this how women value themselves today in the more enlightened, secular, modern world? You
would think it to be the exact opposite. Let's see. Women are now objects to be used for the sexual
gratification of rich men and then discarded as the objects they make themselves out to be. That is a
lot better than the old moralism that promoted self respect, respect from the man, and a commitment to
love and cherish in sickness and in health for life.
Here's a quick example of the progress of progressive liberal feminism. A woman is driving down the
street and her vehicle is hit by a drunk driver. She ends up in the hospital in critical condition. Now,
under the old oppressive morality her husband/boyfriend rushes to the hospital and sits agonizingly next
to the bed for days and weeks, takes her home and cares for her until she is better. This is love and
commitment. They will grow old together, raise a family together, and support each other in times of
need. This is what feminism has fought against as oppressive to women.
Under the new modern feminine freedom for women the woman is in the critical care unit all alone.
Why? Because the stranger/married lover/uncommitted hook up partner doesn't care. Why should he?
He is out having sex with someone else. Call him when you get better and only if you aren't scarred or
if you still look hot in lingerie. This is the gift of feminism that has now flowered into reality. The lie
of easy sex has done nothing for women other than to relieve men of any obligation. If any of those
skanks who willing bedded Tiger thought "We were in love" they were fooling themselves. And they
deserve no sympathy. Tiger had a wife and two small children. These women betrayed a sister by
bedding her husband. In any relationship they have or will have, if a partner cheats they cannot object.
They set the standard.
Finally, let's talk about the Florida State Patrol and how they got punked. Major Cindy Williams and
Sgt. Kim Montez from Troop D of the Florida Highway Patrol had the unenviable task of holding the
press conference to explain how the FHP was citing Tiger Woods for Careless Driving- which may
carry the fine of $164 dollars and four, yes four, strokes off his driving license. You see, the FHP was
able to conclude the investigation with the astonishing accusation that Tiger was at fault in the crash.
Major Williams said that Tiger had provided,(or more accurately his lawyer did since he was
'unavailable' to the FHP) his license, registration, and proof of insurance. Therefore the wheels of
justice were at that very moment cranking out a uniform traffic citation to serve to Tiger. At this the
Major concluded her statement and left the conference, hopefully to throw up in the bathroom or sneak
a stiff drink in her office.
Yet Sgt. Montez carried on with the less savory information. "In consultation with the Florida State
Attorney Lawson Lamar, there was insufficient evidence to issue a subpoena for medical evidence that
might exist in this case." "There are no claims to domestic violence by any individual." and "Despite
the celebrity status of Mr. Woods, the Florida Highway Patrol has completed its investigation in the
same professional manner it strives to complete each traffic crash investigation. Although our approach
may vary depending upon the circumstances, Mr. Woods status in no way impacted our investigation
results or conclusion. This concludes our press conference. Thank you."
So, Tiger simply went careening through his neighborhood at two in the morning and ended up semi
conscious on the pavement with his wife standing over him with a golf club before being taken to the
hospital and the FHP decides to throw the full weight of law against him for careless driving. Ohhh,
went the hushed response from the shocked reporters. How was the family to live? How would they
get by with such a cruel and unusual punishment? One hundred, and sixty four American dollars (And
four points on the license unless a plea bargain saves him.)
Tiger's socks probably cost more than that. But if he couldn't keep his zipper closed he was smart
enough to keep his mouth closed. Does anyone in America believe that Tiger had a woopsie behind the
wheel at two in the morning leaving his driveway? Or that his wife heroically saved him from the
undamaged passenger compartment of the Escalade with a golf club, only to have Tiger
unconscious/semi conscious laying on the street? Does anyone believe that the street officers of the
Florida Highway Patrol arriving on scene missed this was a domestic violence call and not a simple
traffic accident?
I had sympathy for the FHP right up until the statement "Mr. Woods status in no way impacted our
investigation results or conclusion." That is where you lost me. The FHP cops had no choice. They
showed up in the middle of the night and found a famous celebrity golfer who was almost a billionaire
laying in the street and his, I would guess, crying wife (anger or fear or concern) right there. Do you
think there were no golf club dents on the Escalade? No blurted out statements? Who the hell said this
was an accident to begin with? Who worked this crime scene, Snow White? Was Tiger drinking? Was
he alone in the vehicle? Who says? All we have is a drivers license, registration, and proof of
insurance. Fine if it was an accident, but there is no indication it was an accident at all. Everyone
knows it. The best result for the honor and integrity of the FHP was to simply say the case couldn't go
forward as no one would talk to them, and the case would remain open until further notice. That's it.
Leave it hanging. Instead, by issuing the bogus ticket and closing the case they said there was nothing
to see here, move along.
When the Florida State Attorney got involved, he decided how the case was handled. Think there was
no favoritism? How naive are you? Tiger the almost billionaire got treatment no normal person would
get who lived in an apartment complex or ungated community. But Tiger did to the FHP what he did
to the skanks. Only it cost him less. To say he didn't get special treatment really diminishes the
integrity of the FHP. The conference should have ended with the Major's statement.
The Tiger Wood s story will be around for a while with more skanks proclaiming their worthlessness to
the world and more people hoping Mrs. Woods drop kicks him to the curb. The story is made to sell
tabloids at the checkout counter and will only finally die with the "I slept with Tiger Celebrity Diet"
feature on the end of the Wal Mart checkout. But almost everyone will miss the underlying theme.
Character, keeping your vows, respecting yourself and others, self worth, honor, duty, integrity, all are
elements that are needed in society. Had the participants in this morality play kept to these ideals, there
would have been no cheating, no scandal, no story, no need for this column, no need to steal from
William Blake.