The Quiet Conservative February 9, 2008
The Maunder Minimum and the End of the World
A funny thing happened on the way to global warming Armageddon. The temperature stopped
rising. Perhaps you missed that in the latest carbon footprint ads from BP. I've mentioned before
that man made global warming is simply hooey (06/22, 07/07). It is a fraud hoisted on the public to
push either progressive social programs, or to suck money out of businesses. It has always been a
favorite of the left because it promotes more government regulation and more taxes. It is socialism
with a slick new marketing plan; one that makes it morally imperative for otherwise stable individuals
with common sense to suddenly worry if they are killing the planet.
Man made global warming proponents have made all their dire predictions based on the latest
computer models. They demand there is consensus that global warming is real and man made. Go
along with that fact or be labeled a “global warming denier.”
The only problem with this form of reality is that observable science hasn't gone along with the
computer models. Meteorologists had the audacity to point out that the computer models didn't take
into account precipitation in the models. That's right. They didn't figure in rain. Since weather
influences climate and vice versa, it was an embarrassing omission.
Well meaning historians uncomfortably pointed out the little ice age in the 16th and 17th century that
froze Europe and kicked off the starvation that led to the French Revolution. It was preceded by a
very warm spell that was preceded by a cold spell. It seemed a warming planet and a cooling planet
was the natural cycle. They were very embarrassed by having to point this out, but who listens to
historians? We have a planet to save. Just disregard the history that doesn't match the computer
models. So, we eliminated the medieval warming period that preceded the little ice age we didn't
acknowledge we had either.
Some foolish chemists pointed out that the temperatures rose first in these cycles and then the
carbon dioxide rose afterwards, often trailing by years in the increase, just like now. It was illustrated
by showing how soda loses it’s carbon dioxide fizz quicker when it's warm than when it's cold.
Anyone who ever opened a two liter of Pepsi and had it suddenly foam over the top because it was
warm immediately understood this made sense. We're pretty sure somebody took those chemists out
behind the building and beat the snot out of them because we haven’t heard from them since.
But enough questions were being raised that the progressive church of human doom finessed the
marketing plan just a bit. We don’t know if you missed the latest bulletin but “Man Made Global
Warming” has been relabeled “Man Made Climate Change.” Now we have some wiggle room.
You're still killing the planet, but now we moved the computer models out a hundred years or so.
Now it’s harder to pin the church down on facts.
Then the astronomers, those jerks, joined in the heresy against the cult of man made global
warming...sorry man made climate change, by pointing out that the warming and cooling seems to
match cycles on the sun. Can you believe those guys? They actually think the sun has something to
do with whether the planet is cool or warm. They want you to believe that it is the magnetic cycle of
the sun and the number of sun spots that are on the sun's surface that impact our climate. Some of
those sunspots are the size of the earth. The astronomers then had the audacity to state the
temperature rises in the 1990’s was observed on other planets in the solar system as well. Who let
those guys speak to anyone? Can't they be fired?
They say that we can be approaching a low period of solar sun spots called the “Maunder
Minimum.” This is when there is low magnetic activity from the sun and cosmic rays hit the earth’s
atmosphere. Atmosphere that otherwise would be buffeted by the sun’s magnetism, shielding them
from these rays. The rays cause cloud formation which leads to cooling. The Maunder Minimum
should peak by 2040 and last beyond 2100. The Russians are stating this. The Brits are stating this,
NASA mumbled something about it being looked into and slammed the door.
Another little ice age is on the horizon it appears. This time the prediction is actually supported by
observable data. Don’t you just hate that? It seems not only has the temperature stopped rising it has
cooled slightly since 1998. The only thing we can say is we better institute all the carbon caps now
and eliminate our carbon footprints quick, or we will be crowded out by advancing glaciers.
The great thing about a flexible marketing plan though, is by its versatility we can simply change the
focus. The Church of Climate Doom will now talk about the loss of ice in the Arctic and the
endangered status of polar bears. Everybody loves polar bears...from a distance....well, on TV. It
seems if you are around a polar bear for real it better be in a zoo, because otherwise the only thing
on a polar bear’s mind is to eat you. Congressional progressives are pushing their agenda of putting
polar bears on the endangered species list so as to prevent the US from becoming energy
independent. We need to eliminate drilling in all areas where a polar bear might even think of visiting
to save them before they are all gone. When the ice melts in the Arctic and they all drown, we will
blame the capitalistic fascist right for killing them. Only, the ice isn't melting. The seas haven’t risen.
It’s winter and the NOAA put a note on their back door by the trash dumpster on a Sunday night, in
small print, that admitted the ice is back. If you flipped the note over it said the ice in the Antarctic is
increasing quickly.
Meanwhile the Canadians were quite unaware of the dire straights of the polar bears, because they
actually have met some. They indicate that the total population is actually stable and do not appear
to have noticed the warming. In fact, those wacky Canadians allow hunters to kill up to 500 polar
bears a year. Kind of funny to declare a species endangered when you have to harvest the
population to keep it under control.
So what does that have to do with Kansas? There are no polar bears here except in the zoos. But
we do have the Progressive Church of Man Made Climate Change. Sunflower Electric had the
effrontery to propose two coal fired power plants in Western Kansas. These multi billion dollar
plants would bring a boat load of jobs and revenue to Kansas. When they made this proposal they
ran right into the wall on the side of the chapel of Man Made Climate Change. It seems coal fire
plants, even using the newest type of carbon recovery, was like showering a vampire with Holy
Water.
The head of the Kansas Department of Health and the Environment, Rod Bremby, denied
Sunflower Electric from building these plants because of carbon dioxide: "It would be irresponsible to
ignore emerging information about the contribution of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases to
climate change and the potential harm to our environment and health if we do nothing," Bremby said
in the October 19, 2007 Topeka Capital Journal. This is done with the backing of our Governor who
has proposed as a compromise that Sunflower be allowed to build one plant that would serve the
needs of Western Kansas. It seems those villains at Sunflower actually thought that building two
plants would allow them to export power to other states and make a profit. They haven’t signed on
to the creed of our Democratic champions here: “From each according to his abilities to each
according to his needs.” This proposal by the state is done with the knowledge that one plant isn't
financially viable to build. So, by suggesting one plant, they meant none.
But wait, there's hope. It really isn't about the carbon dioxide the plants would produce. You see,
there is an alternative. Carbon credits. This is the scheme where you can put all the carbon you
want into the air as long as you pay someone somewhere else to plant a tree. You don’t care if they
plant the tree of course, you just have to show you are green and pay. You know, a shakedown. It
is the progressive way of getting a slice of the pie. In New York you pay off the teamsters or the
mob to put up a building, or your materials don’t arrive on time, or your workers have 'accidents'.
To the progressive run Church of Man Made Climate Change, you got to buy the carbon credits.
You could build a hundred coal fired plants if you buy enough credits.
Sunflower has pulled back for a moment in their legislative efforts to bring revenue, and jobs, to
the state -against the objections of the state government. We only hope Sunflower finds an
acceptable payola to the new priests before the Maunder Minimum reaches its peak, or we’re all
going to freeze.